Arborfield Old Boys Association
AOBA
Arborfield Life
a meeting with God...
by John Stewart 56B
There is an unwritten 'barrack-
First awakening..
My earliest 'religious' experience occurred when I was about eight years old, in
Purbrook Woods, near Portsmouth. I had cycled over Portsdown Hill into the countryside
by myself one glorious Saturday afternoon in high summer and, as I walked with my
bike through the woods, I noticed something white gleaming away at the back of some
bushes. Curious to know what it was, I crawled in under the bushes, a distance of
about ten feet. I discovered it to be a badger's skull, bleached white by the elements,
as I lay on my back and examined it closely. It seemed to me to be so beautifully
formed, a truly brilliant design, and so perfectly crafted. I concluded that you
would have to be mentally handicapped to reason that this beautiful thing was a mere
accident of evolution. I lay with the sun's rays sparkling through the bushes and
knew without any shadow of doubt that God was its creator. More than that, I also
sensed God's presence round about me. It was for me a special moment of spiritual
awakening to His existence. Only later on in life did I discover what the Bible has
to say about such things. In Romans, Chapter 1, Verse 20, it states, "For since the
creation of the world, God's invisible qualities -
Life at Arborfield...
My next experience of the presence of God was at AAS Arborfield
whilst on 'jankers'! I was only seventeen and very fed up. I hated the Army, having
come to the realisation that I had made a terrible mistake in signing on. I had also
experienced a spell in Fred Silver's nick, as a result of having 'done a bunk'. (See
OBAN31. Ed.) This experience did nothing to improve my opinion of the Army. One particular
night, I was instructed to clean the Corporals' Club, after they had all gone to
bed. I had already fallen foul of one of the Corporals in the club and he had decided
to mess me about by staying in the club for as long as possible, just to p*** me
off. I had no other option but to wait outside in the corridor until he decided to
go to bed. I was having murderous thoughts towards him but, more to the point, I
was feeling really sorry for myself. I waited impatiently outside; it was way past
'lights out' and everywhere was pitch black. Then I looked up at the night sky and
I had never seen so many stars before. Suddenly I knew that God was there again with
me. But more than that -
I want to say, before I go any further, that although these experiences
confirmed my opinion about the existence of God, they did nothing to change my behaviour
or attitude. I was still very much 'one of the lads', with all that entailed. I smoked,
swore, womanised, got drunk, enjoyed pornography and lent money, at extortionate
rates of interest, to the Junior Divs on camp. I enjoyed dirty jokes, stealing food
from the Cookhouse and occasionally bullying those weaker than myself.
For most of my childhood, I had big problems with my earthly father. He
was one of the main reasons I had wanted to leave home. My memories of him were predominantly
negative; I felt that I had been a disappointment as a son and had failed academically
to reach even his minimum standards. I well remember his hidings and demeaning verbal
explosions, he could say some really cruel things to my younger brother and me. All
these negative thoughts crowded out any memories of the positive input he had in
my life. I suppose the respect I had for him was based upon fear and I remember feeling
very uncomfortable in his presence. But deep down, I now realise that I longed for
his approval, therefore I needed to succeed at something. However, I was very much
the centre of my own universe and repentance from this attitude was not in my vocabulary.
I couldn't care less for anyone other than my mother, who I adored. Many were the
times that she stepped in to protect me from my father's rages. With the wisdom of
years, I can now see that I was oblivious to my own character flaws, which were legion.
My conscience seemed not to bother me one iota however.
The fifth commandment...
The dire consequences of breaking 'the fifth commandment'
predictably began to take their effect on my life, even though they were unknown
to me at that time. This is what the fifth commandment says -
"Wrong!" I slipped between the bars on one of the obstacles at the Maide
Assault course. I fell roughly fourteen feet, but my injuries appeared to be only
minor -
They lanced and drained
the carbuncle under my arm and gave me big doses of penicillin. I recovered quickly,
so they allowed me to remain with 16 Para Wksp and attend the next Pre-
One of the necessary evils of Pre-
Rmc of s -
My next posting was to the Royal Military
College of Science at Shrivenham. If ever there was a backwater, this was it. I got
married and spent two glorious years doing virtually nothing again -
Life was fairly peaceful for a while when, out of the blue, my kid brother Trevor
turned up at our house, having run away from home. Knowing what he had endured without
my mother's intervention made me very protective towards him, so I told him that
he could live with us until he decided what he was going to do long term. I also
wrote my father a very bitter letter, listing every fault he had. My vitriolic diatribe
ended by my saying that if I ever saw him again it would be too soon. But soon tensions
began to develop between my wife and my brother. I found myself 'piggy in the middle',
unable to please either of them. Finally I came home one day to a hysterical and
very tearful wife; my brother had a bread-
The ASM in charge of Armstrong lab
at RMCS was George Lorryman, a good bloke. In hindsight, I think he saw that I needed
a kick up the backside and soon entered me for my A2 trade test. I protested loudly,
fearing failure, but he wouldn't listen. In spite of my lack of experience, I did
manage to scrape through. I also later managed to pass my A1 in TTS Duisburg, which
was an absolute miracle.
Aden...
I had just two and a bit years left to do and longed
to serve 'somewhere tropical' before demob. Hong Kong or Singapore would have been
ideal, but the good old 5 th commandment kicked in and I was sent to Aden instead.
Again, there were no artillery weapons in 52 Command Wksp, so they put me in A&G
-
Shortly after taking
charge there, I noticed one of the Arabs continually absenting himself from his workbench.
I followed him and discovered he had a secret sleeping hole in the wood store, so
I gave him a verbal warning, much to the delight of his fellow carpenters. However,
he didn't heed my warning and continued to skive off at every opportunity. I therefore
moved his bench into the VM's shop, away from his fellow carpenters. None of the
Arab VMs liked the bloke and they gave him a rough time there. In spite of his poor
attitude, I began to feel sorry for him after a couple of weeks and therefore had
his bench moved back into the carpenters shop again. Unfortunately, I saw no change
in his behaviour. Shortly after a further run-
Shortly after this,
the political situation in Aden worsened considerably and we became targets for the
National Liberation Front (NLF) and the Federation for the Liberation of Occupied
South Yemen (FLOSY). My life became one round of IS duties after another. Our entertainment,
when not on duty at night, was watching cars being blown up from my 1 st-
All
the lads living out in private quarters were responsible for protecting their own
flats. It often happened that you'd finish a night's IS duties, only to go straight
out with your SLR to do a further two-
Because
I had some natural talent as an artist, for my last six months they posted me into
the drawing office at the SEE Arborfield, whoopee! I spent my time soaking up everything
I could from the illustrator who worked in the office there. Then, on the very day
I got demobbed, he resigned, without giving even a day's notice. As a result of this,
I was offered his job on the understanding that I go to college to get qualified.
They also warned me that, if I didn't pass the exams, I'd be out on my ear! I did
pass the exams, with credits, and thus began a very enjoyable career as a technical
illustrator in MoD. And so, perhaps you're thinking, what about everything going
wrong for him then?
Well, several things did go seriously wrong. I got arrested in
London for a start, and now have a police record! It happened like this. A friend
and I became interested in stripping old pine furniture and then selling it at a
small profit. We bought items very cheaply from auctions, demolition sites and anywhere
else that we could. On our way back from London one day, we saw some old derelict
Victorian houses, about to be pulled down. We didn't have time to stop right then,
so decided to return a couple of days later. There were about fifteen people in the
buildings when we arrived, all of them stripping out the old timber, doors etc. We
were told that the site was soon to be levelled and become a car park, so a 'free
for all' was taking place. We also began to help ourselves to one or two things that
were left. The next thing to happen that was several policemen appeared on the scene,
demanding to know what we were up to. It seems that all the other people had legged
it. We were arrested and charged with burglary -
The next thing to go wrong was that my car was hit
from behind by a very big lorry. It drove me up onto the pavement, crushing both
me and the car into a steel lamp-
Meeting with God...
To say that I wasn't coping very well would be a profound understatement. Someone
suggested that it might do me good to go to church. I cannot remember my exact response
to that suggestion, but it was decidedly negative. They decided not to give up on
me however, and nagged me about it at every opportunity. Finally, I agreed to go
once only, on the understanding that they never mention it again to me. The church
was the Methodist Church in Fleet, Hampshire. Came the Sunday and, true to my word,
we went together. I found the experience rather strange and I felt alienated from
everyone in the congregation, especially when they raised both hands in the air to
sing the hymns. "What's that all about?" I asked myself. Still, I thought, get this
over with and I can escape back to normality! After the service, I edged towards
the door, only to discover it blocked by the minister and his wife. They seemed to
be interviewing everyone leaving the church! My turn came and the upshot was that
they came and visited me the very next day. I can imagine what you are thinking -
The book chronicled the life of an ex-
Confession at the chapel...
The Saturday morning arrived for our talk. He led me into a little prayer room at
the back of the church and sat down next to me. He said nothing for about twenty
minutes and neither did I, as I just sat there, feeling trapped and very uncomfortable.
I kept thinking to myself, "How can I get out of this place? Perhaps I could say
I made a mistake and just walk out? There again, I'm only here because I asked for
it! You prat, Stewart, you are always fouling up!" The minister eventually broke
the silence with, "Look John, I have set aside all today for you, so don't feel pressured,
just take your time". More silence. Then he said, "It may help to tell the Lord your
name, He knows it anyway". More silence; I began to sweat in panic and then I blurted
out -
I suppose that, in addressing God personally, I somehow opened myself up to him.
After all, you don't talk to someone if you doubt they are there in the first place,
do you? Suddenly, He was there again, but not as before, His presence was now overpowering.
I was overcome with His totally-
At the end of those two hours, I totally understood the sacrifice that Jesus had
made on that Cross for me. I didn't deserve it at all. my life up to this point had
been totally selfish. But now I knew that all my sin had been nailed to that Cross,
along with the Son of God; He had willingly paid the ultimate price for me and I
left that room totally transformed. I knew that I had been 'born again' by His Holy
Spirit, I felt clean inside and deliriously happy. One final text that sums up my
experience lies in 2 Corinthians 5 : 17 -
What happened next in my life is an incredible testimony to
the transforming grace and power of a loving God. It involved restoration of relationships,
miracles and several adventures in Albania and Africa. I also learned that God has
a purpose and plan for my life, which sometimes stretches me to the limit. I became
a published author of six children's books, with six more coming out in 2006. But
all that is for my next article.
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